Living the Prayer is all about me . . . isn’t it?
I have been planning this blog for about six months, coming up with all sorts of topics and scoping out my prayers. The prayer part is easy (no shortage there!), but I was having a hard time wrapping my soul around just how to live these prayers.
What, exactly, is a prayer in action? I know the Jesuits are contemplative in action. In other words, Ignatian spirituality views the world as a place to practice spiritual life. Anyone who knows me or who has read my other blog, Eternal Presence, understands that I am not likely to spend much time repeating rosaries or bending my knees at church (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
I am most comfortable when I am in action in the world, which is how I found my way to the Jesuit university, Loyola, in my spiritual journey.
Still, not all prayers are actionable. How do I live a prayer knowing the outcome is outside of my control? How do I live a prayer when the outcome has already occurred?
Along came an e-mail from the spiritual community I attend – the Center for Spiritual Living – and the topic this past Sunday was: “Do Not Seek The Answer; Live The Question”. The Reverend Sally Robbins spoke about the mystery of life’s lessons and how the answers we all seek about why this or that happened will never come. It is through our living the question that we grow and become the person shaped by our soul’s response to life.
Finally, I am starting to get it . . . how to live into my prayers as a way of living into my soul’s journey and I began combing my repertoire of desires to find the first prayer I want to live. I am as selfish as the next person and I wanted my prayers to be all about me but found that my calling just was not there. I have blessings poured upon me in terms of health, employment, friends, food, and shelter. God has graced me with the wisdom of hindsight and foresight.
My first prayer is a selfish act even though it is for two members of my family: my daughter and my brother. Their paths are rather dark right now, stormy and uncertain. While there is my usual prayer asking Spirit, God, the Universe, to watch over them, what prayer can I live that would support them? It is not for me to decide what they need, but they have both shared with me their need for basic resources such as employment, money, food, and shelter. The prayer I am going to live is abundance. Living into the prayer of abundance means seeing abundance wherever I go, finding abundance in my daily life, that there is plenty of love, time, money, resources, healing, wisdom, love, understanding, trust, and belief. Living this prayer is living into the trust and belief that Life/God/Spirit will provide me with all the resources I need to respond to my daughter and to my brother as is best for them . . . and that may (or may not) be what I think is best.
It is a completely selfish prayer on my part because it is all I can do to ease the pain I carry in my heart for them. Their circumstances are beyond my ability to remedy alone.
Time to call in reinforcements.
©2013 by Barbara L. Kass